Vinh Giang

You know that moment:

You approach a group of people. Everyone’s talking.

You want to chime in, but don’t want to be rude, talk over anyone, or interrupt.

So what normally happens?

You stand there awkwardly nodding along, saying nothing and looking like a background extra in the Central Perk cafe (I miss them ❤️)

If this sounds familiar, use my my fool-proof 4 step approach for joining a conversation confidently without interrupting or hijacking the moment.

Step 1: Wait for the Pause

Conversations naturally have micro-pauses.

A breath.
A laugh.
A transition between points.

That’s your signal to jump in. 

Step 2: Make Your First Sentence Relevant

Don’t change the topic, but build on what somebody else has just said. 

This shows you were listening and smoothly connects you to the existing conversation

Step 3: Keep It Short

This is not the moment to launch into a 15 minute monologue. The initial goal is to join the conversation, not take it over.

Give a short, relevant contribution then;

Step 4: Hand the Conversation Back

This is the magic maneuver; end with a question.

By finishing your entry into the conversation with a question, you’ll keep the group dynamic flowing and lessen the chances of a painfully awkward silence if you don’t nail step 2.

Follow these four steps and I guarantee you’ll be chatting away with Ross, Rachel, Monica, Joey, Chandler and Phoebe on the couch in no time.

Metaphorically speaking.

Expanding your vocabulary is one of the easiest ways to improve your communication skills and ensure your message cuts through. 

Without a healthy repertoire of adjectives, verbs, and expressive language, you risk becoming repetitive, boring and easy to tune out to.

Here’s a dead simple three step process I used to turn myself into a grandiloquent, hyper-articulate, vocabulary virtuoso.🤓

Just kidding, I simply wanted to stop using the word ‘amazing’ to describe everything.🤦

Step 1: Identify Your “Overused Words”

Start by writing down the words you repeat constantly.

Common offenders:

• Amazing (guilty)
• Nice
• Great
• Good
• Stunning
• etc
  

Once you spot your “go-to” words, you can upgrade them.

Step 2: Build From Words You Already Use

Grab a thesaurus (or Google) and look up better alternatives that mean the same thing.

For amazing, you could use:

• phenomenal
• outstanding
• astonishing
• remarkable
• extraordinary
  

Step 3: Actually Use the New Words

Now instead of saying “The food was amazing” for the 83rd time, you can say:

• “The food was phenomenal.”
• “The meal was outstanding.”
• etc
  

Why This Works

You’re not forcing random new words into your brain, hoping by chance you’ll remember them next time the opportunity presents itself.

You’re replacing the words you already say daily, meaning you’re much more likely to actually use them. 

Amazing right? 😉

Most people are terrified of silence when they speak (I was too). You feel that gap open up and rush to fill it. 

So often when people use filler words like “Um, ah, so, you know, like”, they’re not replacing anything meaningful, they’re simply using these to avoid silence. 

Stop Filling Silence. Start Using It.

Let’s flip the perspective, instead of seeing silence as awkward, see it as intentional.

Think of music, the most breathtaking moment in orchestral music often isn’t the crescendo, it’s what comes right after: The pause. That sharp intake of breath between notes, that’s what makes the sound hit harder. That’s what gives the moment weight.

Even if we’re comfortable using all the other notes (our words), many of us forget to use silence. And yet it’s one of the most beautiful notes available to us.

When you pause, something incredible happens.

People listen.

And more importantly, you give them time to think about what you’ve just said. 

The Simple Trick To Stop Saying Um

When you feel yourself about to say “um” or “uh” or “so,” don’t fight it with more words, simply replace it with a pause. 🤫

It might feel weird at first, like you’re forgetting what to say. But I promise, it gets easier and the more you do it, the more confident you sound. 👊

We mumble for one simple reason. We’re being lazy with our mouths.

Let’s be honest, most of us don’t use our full vocal toolbox. We underuse our lips, our tongue barely moves and the words blur together making it hard for people to follow what we’re saying.

That’s all mumbling is: Lazy articulation.

But the good news is, just like training your guns in the gym, you can train the articulation muscles in your face 

The Tongue Twister Method (With a Twist)

One of the most powerful daily exercises I recommend is simple: tongue twisters.

But here’s the twist, don’t rush through them.

Spend 10 minutes a day reading tongue twisters slowly, deliberately, and with exaggerated mouth movements. Overdo it. Move your lips wide. Get your tongue involved. Let your face feel ridiculous (that’s the point!).

By doing this, you’re training the tiny articulating muscles in your face, lips, and tongue which are responsible for shaping every word you say.

It might feel strange at first and you might even laugh at yourself.

But if you stick with it, you’ll start noticing that the unfamiliar becomes familiar and you’ll be much less likely to mumble when you speak.

I’ve heard this so many times.

“I hate the sound of my voice.”
“Why does my voice sound so weird in videos?”
“That doesn’t even sound like me.”

I get that it can be unsettling to hear your voice in a recording and think, Wait… that’s what everyone else hears? 🙉 However, once you understand why you think your voice sounds weird – you can move past the discomfort and start to work on becoming a more confident communicator. 

Why Your Voice Sounds Different on Video Recordings

When you speak, the sound leaves your mouth and travels through the air into others’ ears. 

But when you hear yourself speak, you’re not just hearing through the air, you’re also hearing the vibrations resonating through your bones and skull. The bone conduction makes your voice sound deeper.

That’s why when you listen to a recording of your voice, it sounds off. Suddenly, you’re hearing yourself the way the world hears you. It’s the same reason why photos can look strange, we’re used to seeing our mirror image, not our actual reflection.

Why It Feels So Uncomfortable To Listen To Yourself Talk

You’re simply not used to hearing your voice in that way – and when we’re unfamiliar with something, we naturally resist it.

But if you keep avoiding your recorded voice, the discomfort will never go away. The gap between how you think you sound and how you actually sound will remain so the key is to listen to recordings of yourself talking more.

Yes, that means listening to your own podcast if you have one or recording yourself and playing it back.

Over time, what you hear on the outside and what you hear on the inside will begin to line up, and you’ll stop finding the sound of your own voice so discomforting. 

Remember, your voice is uniquely yours. 

It’s shaped by your experiences, your stories, your culture, and your values. 

No one else sounds exactly like you, and that’s something to be proud of.❤️

Growing up, I had to work with a speech pathologist to learn how to pronounce words correctly.

And let me tell you, as an Aussie, that’s no easy feat as we’re not exactly known for our crystal-clear articulation. (if y’know whadimean mate?)

I still remember when I first visited the USA, people genuinely couldn’t understand what I was saying which made me realize that if I wanted to connect, I had to get serious about how I spoke.

The Simple Trick To Speak More Articulately 

If you want to sound more articulate, it starts with overdoing your mouth movements.

I know that sounds strange and might even feel a bit theatrical at first, but when you exaggerate how you move your mouth, you’ll begin to pronounce each syllable with much more clarity.  

That’s the key to crisp, confident speech.

Try this for five minutes a day. 

Grab a book and read it out loud. But as you read, over-pronounce every single word (don’t be afraid to feel ridiculous). You’re not trying to sound British, you’re simply training your vocal muscle.

And if someone tells you you’re trying too hard, just smile and keep going. 😊

Articulation is a skill, and like any skill, it improves with deliberate practice.

Vocal Energy Changes Everything

A big part of sounding articulate is vocal energy.

I often see people trail off or mumble because their energy drops mid-sentence. Their voice fades, the presence disappears and suddenly whatever they’re saying loses impact.

Here’s a simple exercise to change that; 

Count from 1 to 10. But say each number with the exact same level of energy. From the first number to the last, stay consistent. Don’t trail off.

This simple exercise can help you to build vocal control. 

And, when you combine that kind of vocal energy with intentional annunciation, your voice becomes stronger, clearer, and far more engaging!

How to Sound Less Nasally

Sounding ‘nasally’ is a result of your voice getting trapped in the nose. But often, what we think is nasality is actually a lack of vocal energy or lazy articulation.

If you energise your speech and project from your chest, that nasal tone starts to disappear on its own. 

You don’t need to force a deep voice, you just need to speak with intention and resonance.

Key Takeaway

Pronouncing your words with crisp articulation is as simple as training your facial muscles to actively pronounce each syllable, and maintaining a consistent level of vocal energy.