I still remember one of my first professional speaking gigs at a Building Association event in Sydney. I walked on stage wearing a black shirt and black pants, not because I thought it looked sharp, but because I was sweating like I was in a sauna. 🥵
I finished the talk, walked off stage, and the CEO (this very serious-looking gentleman) shook my hand loosely and said, “Vinh… have you done this before?”
Even now, I still get the heebi-jeebies thinking about that moment…
Back then, I had no idea how to calm my nerves and just assumed this kind of fear was part of the deal. But here’s what I know now:
You can absolutely learn to manage your public speaking anxiety!
If you’re wondering how to calm your nerves when presenting, whether it’s a wedding speech, a work presentation, or something even bigger – these five tools changed everything for me;
1. Control Your Body Before It Controls You
Your voice doesn’t tremble on its own. It follows your body. When your hands are shaking, your voice will too.
I’ll prove it to you.
Hold your hand out in front of you. Now squeeze it into a tight fist.
Feel that shake? That’s tension. And tension creates instability.
Here’s how to fix it:
I use something called box breathing. It’s used by Navy SEALs and elite athletes before high-pressure moments.
Try this with me:
- Inhale for 4 counts
- Hold your breath for 4 counts
- Exhale for 4 counts
- Hold for 4 counts
Repeat this a few times before you speak in public. It tells your nervous system you’re safe. When your body relaxes, your voice follows.
2. Remember It’s Not About You, It’s About Them
One of the fastest ways to spiral is to make it all about yourself.
- What if I mess up?
- What if they notice I’m nervous?
- What if I forget what to say?
Let me be blunt, that mindset is a trap! I used to walk into every talk thinking only about me, and it showed.
Now I ask myself something different:
“How can I serve the people in front of me?”
Shift your focus away from yourself and place it on the audience. When you truly want to help others, fear gives way to purpose.
3. Speak Slower
When you’re nervous, you want to get it over with. So you speed up. But the faster you speak, the more your body panics causing your thoughts to race and you to stumble over your words.
The fix is simple: Pause. Breathe. Speak slower.
You won’t sound unsure, you’ll sound intentional, deliberate and worth listening to.
Speaking slowly helps you stay calm and makes your message clearer. It’s one of the easiest ways to regain control in the moment.
4. How to Calm Your Nerves Before Presenting
That rush of adrenaline before you speak? Totally normal.
But you’ve got to move your body to manage it. Otherwise, it builds up and creates that jittery, restless feeling that steals your presence.
Here’s what I do to calm down before a presentation:
- 10 push-ups backstage
- A quick walk
- Even just pacing and shaking out the tension
You don’t need to go full Rocky Balboa, just burn off enough energy so you don’t feel like a shaken up bottle of Coke right before stepping on stage.
5. Speak in Public More Often (Even When It’s Scary)
The fear of public speaking shrinks every time you face it.
Try starting small. If giving a toast in front of 10 people is too much, start with 3.
At your next dinner with friends, say something like, “Hey, I want to make a toast.”
Now you’re stepping into the role of speaker (albeit just for 30 seconds). Then next time, try doing it standing up. Yes, it might feel awkward, but remember awkwardness is just growth in disguise.
Want to level it up? During your next Zoom meeting, stand while you speak. Tell your team, “Hey, I’ve been sitting all day, mind if I stand while I share this?” Then deliver your piece.
Every time you do this, you’re desensitising yourself to your fear of public speaking. You’re showing your brain there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Key Takeaways
Just remember, to overcome your fear of speaking in public;
- Calm your nervous system using the box breathing method,
- Focus on the audience, not yourself
- Slow your rate of speech
- Release some adrenalin by burning off some energy
- Desensitise yourself through practice
