Vinh Giang

If you struggle with social anxiety, I’ve taken thousands of students through this 5 step process, and I can tell you:

It works.

I believe anxiety comes simply from unfamiliarity. 

Think of it like a peanut allergy: scientists have found that a lack of exposure to peanuts early on creates the allergy. 

Today, we are so addicted to screens 📱 that we have essentially created a “peanut allergy” for social interaction.

So, how do you overcome social anxiety in a world where face-to-face interactions are becoming few and far between?  

Dan, (who is part of my team and also happens to be a qualified psychologist) taught me the answer: Exposure Therapy. 

Overcoming social anxiety by exposing yourself to social interactions isn’t about jumping into the deep end; it is about slow, gradual, (and honestly sometimes boring) progression.

But if you stick with it, I promise it will change your life. ❤️

5 Simple Ideas to Expose Yourself to Social Interactions & Overcome Your Anxiety

Level 1: The Voice Message Stop texting. Start small by sending a voice message to a friend once a day. Play with your vocal foundations while you do it – the idea here is to get comfortable with communicating with your voice rather than your fingers. 

Level 2: The Video Message Take it up a step & send a video. You might think, “Oh Vinh, that is so weird.” It is only weird because you think it is weird. As Confucius says (with my addition):

If you think you’re weird, well then you’re weird.

Send a video just sharing a thought you had about them.

Level 3: The Grocery Store Clerk Stop using the self-checkout! Go to an actual human being and while they are scanning your goods, talk to them, ask them how their day is going. 

• When they reciprocate, don’t just say “Good.” Tell them the most exciting thing that happened to you that day.
• Then, ask them: “What is the most exciting thing that happened to you today?”.
• If you are feeling brave, ask them a curly-whirly one: “What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned in the last 12 months?”. 

You will see them light up because someone actually cares about their opinion. 

Remember, simply having some good questions up your sleeve is the key to making small talk easy.

Level 4: The City Walk Go for a 30-minute walk in the city. Set a KPI (Key Performance Indicator) for yourself: You must greet 10 people. Once you master the greeting, level up: Greet, then compliment, then ask a question. Ask for a recommendation on where to eat or find good coffee.

Level 5: The Work Presentation Find an opportunity at work. Go to your manager and ask, “Hey James, do you mind if I take 2 to 5 minutes in the next team meeting to share some results I’ve found?”.

The Power of Slow Progress

I know this sounds painfully slow (and likely terrifying). But I am a believer in slow progress, so for now, simply focus on Level 1 and stop freaking out about the thought of talking to strangers on the street. 

Don’t throw shade on slow progress.  It is the most powerful form of progress in the world because it sticks. 

So, start with the voice note. 

Do the work. 

And slowly, you will realise you aren’t allergic to people anymore.

We often look at great speakers and admire their stage presence. That ability to command attention and connect with any audience within the first few seconds of their presentation.

While vocal mastery and body language are huge parts of the stage presence equation, there is a hidden third factor that creates a magnetic “energy” that audiences can’t look away from.

It isn’t a technique. It’s a mindset.

The “Level 12” Protocol

Let me explain exactly what I do to arrive on stage with the most powerful, engaging presence possible.

Before I am introduced, you’ll find me backstage amping myself up!

I want to get my energy to a Level 12 out of 10.

• I listen to really intense music.
• I do push-ups.
• I jump around.

The goal here is to get your adrenalin pumping, preparing your mind and body to arrive on stage with the same levels of energy and enthusiasm as a 5 year old who’s just consumed an entire bag of candy.🤪

The Secret: Contained Power

Here is the trick.

When I walk out onto the stage, I don’t unleash that 5 year old on a sugar-high level of chaos on the audience. That would be overwhelming!

Instead, I take that 12/10 energy that I feel inside and I physically control it down to an 8 out of 10.

This is where the magic happens.🪄

When I walk out feeling a level 12 inside, but only showing a level 8 outside, the audience can literally feel the difference. They can sense this massive reserve of power radiating just under my skin.

It creates a tension and a magnetism that is impossible to look away from. It’s that feeling of “contained power” that you see from incredible speakers all around the world.

The 3 Steps For Developing Powerful Stage Presence

If you want to develop irresistible stage presence, remember it requires a triad of skills:

1. Vocal Mastery: How you sound.
2. Body Language Mastery: How you look.
3. The Mindset Hack: Creating a surplus of energy but delivering it with control.

Try this before your next presentation. Amp yourself up in private, dial it back in public, and watch how the room responds to your energy.

Ready to master the full range of your presence?

Understanding the energy of stage presence is just the beginning. To truly command a room, you need to master your voice and your body language.

If you want to start building that foundation, I invite you to join my free live & interactive virtual masterclass. It’s the perfect place to start.

And if you are ready to fully transform how you show up in the world, check out my full range of in-person events and online communication skills courses.

Does your personality completely evaporate the moment you hit the record button? Or perhaps you freeze like a deer in the headlights when it’s your turn to present in an online meeting. 😐

The reality is, speaking to a camera is not natural. 

No one is born into the world with an innate talent for speaking on camera (not even me!) – us humans have only been recording ourselves in this way for the past couple of decades.

Yet, so many people expect themselves to be amazing at it immediately.

We watch our favourite YouTubers or communication coaches and think; 

“Oh, that’s just talking. I know how to talk. That looks easy.”

Then you switch the camera on and suddenly… you freeze. You stumble. You feel extremely awkward and ask yourself; 

“Why do I suck at this?”😞

Your brain actually starts working against you, critiquing you in real-time: 

[You’re being too much. You’re overdoing it. Your hands look weird.]

If you want to become more confident and natural sounding on camera, you have to treat it like any other skill.

The Piano Analogy

If you wanted to become a better piano player, how would you do it?

You would say to me, “Well Vinh, it’s obvious. You practice.”

And you are right. But let’s get pragmatic. You wouldn’t just think about learning piano. You would schedule it. 

You would say, “I’m going to practice for 45 minutes on Monday and 90 minutes on Wednesday.” 

You sit at the keys and you play.

But when I ask people, “How do you practice your communication skills?” they get stuck. They usually say, “I don’t know… I guess just when I’m talking to people?”

Because of that lack of clarity on how to practice, people never improve.

The Solution For Acting More Natural On Camera

So, how do you actually get more natural on camera?

Record yourself more.

I mean dedicate yourself to the process. You need to schedule time to sit down and record yourself talking.  

You do not have to post these videos anywhere online, just think of them as practice rather than performance. 

The “One Thing” Rule

Why is this process so important? It isn’t just about repetition; it’s about review.

When you record yourself on video, watch it back and with just one question in mind:

“What is one thing I can do better next week?”

Don’t try to fix everything all at once.

• Week 1: You might notice, “I barely used my hands; they were hiding under the table.”
  • The Fix: Next week, keep hands above the table.
• Week 2: You might notice, “I kept doing the same repetitive gesture.”
  • The Fix: Next week, try to increase your gesture vocabulary.

Stop Consuming, Start Applying

Here is my challenge to you.

Most people will read this article, nod their heads, and then… do nothing. 

They just keep consuming and consuming information. 

I want you to be part of the 1% who are addicted to knowledge application.

Commit to recording just one video a week. Schedule it in your calendar right now, I’ll wait….. 

I said do it now!  📅

Ok good, now you may continue reading. 

If you do this for 10 weeks, focusing on just making just one improvement each time, you will be a completely different person in front of the camera in two to three months.

Remember – To Sound Natural on Camera, You Must Practice the Unnatural.

1. Schedule It: Treat camera practice like piano practice. Put it in the calendar.
2. Record & Review: Watch yourself back.
3. The 1% Improvement: Identify only one thing to fix for the next video (e.g., volume, posture, hand gestures).
4. Repeat: Do this weekly for 10 weeks to see a massive transformation.

Hungry for more knowledge application opportunities just like this? I’d like to invite you to explore my full range of in-person events and online communication skills training programs trusted by over 500,000 students around the world.

It is really important, especially early in our lives, to clearly define the difference between confidence and arrogance.

On the surface, they can sometimes look similar. 

• A confident person stands tall; an arrogant person stands tall. 
• A confident person speaks up; an arrogant person speaks up.

But the internal mindset, the engine driving that behavior, is completely different. 

And that difference determines whether people want to follow you or run away from you.

What is True Confidence?

I believe confidence is found in people who believe that others are equal to them.

It is a mindset that says: “I’m not better than you. But also, you’re not better than me.”

We’re on the same playing field.

When confident people walk through life thinking in this way, they remain open.

• They are open to new opportunities.
• They are open to learning from other people (because they don’t think they are “above” anyone).

As a result, I believe confident people become more successful because they are constantly absorbing wisdom from the world around them.

What is Arrogance?

Arrogance is the opposite. Arrogant people go through life believing that they are better than others.

They believe they are on a whole other level, and that everyone else is on a lower playing field.

Because they believe this, they go through life closing off their mind and closing off their heart. They aren’t open to new opportunities because they think they already know everything. 

They don’t learn from other people because they don’t think other people have anything to teach them.

The “Success” Trap

I used to say that arrogant people don’t succeed, but I actually have to take that statement back.

Sometimes, arrogant people do succeed. 

We’ve all seen it, but there’s a catch!

When an arrogant person succeeds, they usually end up standing at the top of the mountain alone and when they do win, everyone around them secretly (or openly) hates them. 

A great example of this is my videographer Craig. Arrogant guy. Makes me sick. His name leaves such a bad taste in my mouth that I need a mint just talking about him… (Just kidding Craig, I don’t even like mints.)😉

Confidence vs Arrogance: A Concise Summary

The difference between confidence and arrogance isn’t just about how you feel about yourself; it’s about how you view others.

• Confidence: “We are equals. I can learn from you.”
• Arrogance: “I am better than you. You have nothing to teach me.”

Choose the path of the open mind and you’ll find others will perceive you as confident, inspiring and worth listening to. 

Ready to build true confidence?

True confidence comes from competence and knowing how to interact and communicate with the world effectively.

If you want to start building that foundation, I invite you to join my Free Virtual Masterclass. It’s the perfect place to start.

Or, if you are ready to completely transform how you show up in the world, check out my full range of in-person workshops and online communication and public speaking courses.

❤️ Love you Craig

Charisma often feels like a magical quality, and is often thought of as something you either have or you don’t. 

However the truth is anyone can learn to be more charismatic, and it’s easier than you might think!

Charisma is simply a result of the signals your body is sending to the people around you. If you change the mechanics of your body language, you change the way people perceive you.

Here are five body language hacks that will instantly boost your charisma, charm and influence;

1. The “Computer” Gesture

Have you ever spoken to someone and felt like they weren’t really listening?

To make people feel heard, you need to show them you are processing their information. I call this “The Computer” gesture.

This is where you fold your arms then bring one up to your chin while the other person is speaking. 

It signals that you are “downloading” what they are saying. 

It shows you are processing, you are listening, and most importantly, it shows you care.

2. Facial Congruence

This sounds simple, but so many people get it wrong. You must make sure your face matches your words.

If you are delivering bad news, but you have a big smile on your face, you create a creepy disconnect. 

To be charismatic, you need to be congruent. 

If the message is serious, your face must be serious. If the message is exciting, your face must be lit up.

3. Play Charades (Gesture Vocabulary)

The next time you are talking to friends or family, I want you to imagine you are playing a game of Charades.

Most people have a very limited “gesture vocabulary.” They keep their hands still or do the same repetitive motion. 

Instead, try to act out what you are saying.

When you visualise the story with your body, you become infinitely more charismatic & engaging to watch.

4. The Triangle Technique

Eye contact is powerful, but an unwavering stare into the depths their soul is not what we’re aiming for here.

If you struggle with maintaining the right amount of eye contact, use the Triangle Technique.

This helps you maintain connection without it becoming intense or awkward:

1. Look at their Left Eye.
2. Look at their Right Eye.
3. Look down to their Nose.
4. Loop back to the start.

Shift your focus every 4 to 5 seconds. This creates a natural gaze that makes the other person feel seen and comfortable.

5. The Power Sphere

Finally, you need to know where to gesture.

Many people gesture down by their hips or their waist. This signals low energy and low confidence. If you want to project charisma, you need to move your hands into the Power Sphere.

The Power Sphere is an imaginary box between your belly button and your eyes.

When you keep your hand gestures inside this box, you appear more influential, more authoritative, and much more engaging – aka more charismatic.

Becoming More Charismatic Is As Easy As…

If you want to score a “5 out of 5” on the charisma scale, simply add these body language techniques into your repertoire;

1. The Computer: Hand on chin to show you are processing.
2. Congruence: Ensure your facial expression matches the emotional tone of your words.
3. Charades: Act out your stories to increase your gesture vocabulary.
4. The Triangle: Rotate eye contact (Eye-Eye-Nose) every 5 seconds.
5. Power Sphere: Keep your gestures between your belly button and your eyes.

Ready to take your communication to the next level?

Charismatic body language is just a small part of attracting, influencing and inspiring others.

If you want to dive deeper into mastering your communication skills, I invite you to explore my full range of in-person workshops and online communication skills courses. 

I spend a lot of time talking about how to be inspiring, energetic, and influential. But what happens when you need to deliver bad news and the moment requires the exact opposite energy?

Just imagine if a doctor delivered a terminal diagnosis like:

“Hi Susan, thanks for coming in. Unfortunate news, you have cancer. It’s quite aggressive. You’ve got six months. Get your family in. Sorry about that.”

I personally have had family members pass away from cancer, and I remember the people who delivered the news. 

Some of them delivered it “straight to the cup.” Cold. Clinical. Detached. And I can tell you: 

It hurt.😞

But why are some people so bad at delivering bad news? Why do managers fire people over Zoom in 3 minutes? Why do some doctors sound like robots?

Because they were never trained.

During your education or professional career, you are taught what to say (the data, the diagnosis, the facts). You are rarely taught how to say it.

How To Deliver Bad News

If you are a leader, a parent, or just a human being, you will eventually have to give someone bad news – but how you deliver it has a massive impact on how the other person receives the information.

Here is how to deliver bad news with love and compassion;

1. Shift Your Gears (The Energy Shift)

The most common mistake people make is staying in their “default” gear.

If I was to convey bad news to someone with high energy, loud volume, and fast pace (even if I was trying to be positive) it would be jarring. It would feel disconnected.

You have to be able to switch gears.

You need to move from “high energy/inspirational” to “nurture/love/care”;

• Slow down the pace.
• Lower the volume.
• Soften the tone.

You must use your facial expressions, your body language, and your voice to display love. You are creating a safe space for their emotional discomfort.

2. The “We” Framework

When delivering bad news, the scariest thing for the recipient is the feeling of isolation.

“I am alone in this.”

Your job is to bridge that gap immediately.

Here is how I would roleplay that same doctor scenario from above, but using the “we” framework:

“Susan… I know you’ve been waiting for these results. Do you have a moment? Let’s sit down.”

“What I’m about to share with you is going to be very difficult to hear. The results have come back, and it’s not looking good.”

“Now, Susan, even though what I’m about to say is scary, I am here for you. We are going to walk this path together. You are not alone.”

Notice the difference? I acknowledged the fear. I slowed down. But most importantly, I reassured her that I would be holding her hand every step of the process.

Summary

Delivering bad news is one of the hardest things we do, but it is an important skill for all of us to master. Remember, it is not just about the facts (the what); it is about the delivery (the how).

• Shift Your Gears: Move from efficiency to empathy. Slow down, lower your volume, and soften your tone.
• Use the “We” Framework: Eliminate the fear of isolation. Remind them that they do not have to walk the path alone.